In this day and age, it is often
thought that reading self-help books is a sign of weakness. However, this is
not an all encompassing statement, because not all self-help books are made for
people who are clueless or those who do not have confidence. One such book that
has greatly influenced many people through time is Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends And Influence People.
In the strictest sense, this book was meant to be a self-help book.
Nevertheless, its concepts and ideas presented in the book make it an enduring
staple of many successful managers and leaders. The book was published in 1936
and until this moment is still being widely read and its ideas being applied by
many people. The enduring trait of this book is that it is not only useful for
people who are in management or business but they are also applicable in
everyday real life situations.
The book’s core concept is quite
simple and yet one that is often missed by people whose job entails working
with people on an everyday basis. Essentially the book’s premise is quite
simple, and that is how to handle people. Carnegie (137) notes that “three-fourths of the people you will ever
meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will
love you”. This statement lays out the foundation on how one is to go about
doing just what the title says. The book itself is divided into four chapters
that tackle topics such as techniques in handling people, making people like
you, winning people over, and becoming a leader. These concepts presented may
be simplistic to some who already know and practice these but to a person who
has struggled in dealing with people, let alone handling them, they are eye
openers. The title may be deceptively simple but in reality, they are concepts
that people struggle to achieve even in real life situations. Once mastered, these concepts can help change
one’s life for the better.
In terms of what were discussed in
class, the book offers a wellspring of knowledge because the concepts tie up
nicely and seemingly intertwine with the topics discussed, especially in terms
of leadership and understanding individual behavior. The chapters themselves
present a logical progression on how one is to achieve results in terms of
leadership. In class, we learned that leadership is all about influencing
people and motivating them to reach a certain goal that is shared by the group.
It is also interesting to note that when one thinks of it, an organization is
made up of individuals who have their own unique traits.
One cannot expect everyone in an organization to
immediately work within the group. The book’s second chapter offers simple yet
effective means to winning people over. Such as listening well and encouraging
people to speak (Carnegie 76). This is a trait that leaders or people who are
aspiring to become leaders often miss. It is also one of the keys to
understanding individual behavior, because there is no better way to
understanding human behavior than to let people open up themselves to you. This
is because people often hide behind facades that can only be overcome by
intently listening to them.
Personally, there are certain
concepts that I would apply in my day-to-day life. These are concepts such as
always making people feel important (Carnegie 86). This concept is one that is
very important to me because it is one that very few people consciously ever
do. Letting people know and feel that they are important is something that I
see is lacking in the world we live in. With our world increasingly veering
towards impersonal communication aided by technology, letting people know that
they are important is one that is lost among us who live in the present. The
author may be long gone and his intended audience may be from a different era
but his words still resonate as true in our modern world. Even in face to face
conversations it is evident from this writer’s point of view that conversations
and interactions often point to the fact that people want to feel important. I
intend to consciously shift the focus on the person I am interacting with as
opposed to hogging the limelight.
Another concept in the book that is so
simple and yet so lacking in this modern world we live in is to smile. Carnegie
(64) advises us “actions speak louder
than words, and a smile says, I like you, you make me happy. I am glad to see
you”. As a person, I personally realized that although this gesture may be
small, smiling does tend to change the mood and even demeanor of people one
interacts with. It is also evident that smiling is not often used by people who
believe that it is not needed in serious situations. However, smiling is
something that tells people that you are sincere and this would make them open
up to you. This opens up many possibilities that would have otherwise not been
available when you do not smile.
Many might say that this book may
already be dated and that it does not apply in our modern context. However,
this should not be the case because this book is concise, and offers insight
into human nature and how one can navigate its intricacies into getting people
to agree with you, as well as getting them to following your lead. I would give
this book a high rating because it takes a very hard concept and explains it in
simple terms but does not dumb down that the essence of its message is lost.
Overall this book is highly recommended for people who interact with people on
a daily basis, as well as those who want to gain insight on human nature.
Work Cited
Carnegie,
Dale. How To Win Friends And Influence People. Simon and Schuster.1981. Print
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